Man I’m loving the random headings hahaha not even I know where there coming from lol
ok so I’ve been home all day, decided to take a break from study - because I think I’ll go insane if I read about another transit route or some form of tourism accommodation ARAH So boring, anyway I woke up unusually early, rolled over, seen my uncle was in my bed (nothing suss haha), opened my computer, checked my facebook, changed my status...and rolled back over and went back to sleep...now..even I’m puzzled as to why I did this.. I’m not sure if I was actually thinking or not lol but it happened.
Anyway so I get waked up again, this time by someone at the door, I KNEW I should have ignored it, but noooooo, I just HAD to open it, damn my politeness. Anyway it turned out to be my uncle and auntie..Don’t get me wrong... I love them and all.. But they babble..About the most boring things u could think off..so i let them in smiling (looking like crap) sit them down, make coffee blah blah blah...and my uncle begins talking...(inside my head i was rolling my eyes and groaning so loud I’m sure i received some internal injuries), anyway my uncle is telling me about the past..AGAIN
"when i was your age, i could buy a bag of lollies for 20c...now it’s like 1 dollar"... i don’t know how to tell him....I DONT CARE.. so he continues talking about whatever it is he talks about and I’m smiling and nodding but inside my head I’m singing a song... my auntie is sitting there drinking her coffee and reading through her Avon catalogue...yes Avon...then my uncle asks me if i lie to build things...i tried to avoid the subject and suggested that my little brother was probably more into that (that’s a lie because I’m a pro at building things) anyway, he tells me he has to show me something and before i know it he’s gone outside to his care and brings in these HUGE blueprints for a wooden plane he wants to build, and he begins AGAIN... explaining to me all the parts and how much it will cost and how long it will take to complete and why it is so awesome..(hold on i almost chocked on my own saliva haha)..now i know what kind of person my uncle is like ...he will get over this when he realises its too hard... and in the process waste money on it then bitch about it..*rolls eyes* while my uncle is explaining these subjects of "fascination" to me, my aunty begins to explain about how much she could save by buying certain Avon products...i immediately pulled out my phone and started texting my parents to get home as fast as possible lol
anyway, as soon as my parents came home, i ran to my room and jumped onto my computer, changed my status again (what the hell is it with facebook and that god damn status lol)and tried to study a little, until more family decided to come over.
so i go have a shower, taking my time before i greet the tribe, go down stairs and see them and they decide to start prepping for a BBQ, i think fair enough sounds nice, until my other uncle decides to rock up with his wife...wearing no pants... i literally opened the door and said "WTF".. why oh why do i belong to such a family... lol
so now I’m in my room, typing this blog because I’m trying to chill out and not speak to most of them haha, i texted Kyle a few times today and haven’t received a reply since yesterday, I think iv settles down a little since the last post. I don’t know what’s up with him but it would be nice to have a chat, i don’t think I’ve gone this long without him actually saying hello at least once :-( ... i want to call him and text him again ... but i think its best i don’t pressure him or anything like that...BUT GOD I WANT TO SO BAD hahaha. The other night we watched heroes together, this was like after our "talk" but it sort of cheered me up – it was kind of fun
*GROAN* my moron cousin is beating at my door telling me the BBQ is ready, i don’t know if he thinks it’s funny but he’s like laughing while he’s doing it, think redneck hillbilly from the Simpsons -Cledus..*shudders*
ok on that note i think i better go get some food before they eat it all haha
Say hi to your dad for me.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Buzz Kill
I would generally consider myself such a happy person, u know the type that doesn’t take most things too serious, but lately everything has decided to crumble
One of the biggest things that have been on my mind a WHOLE lot lately is the one and only Kyle. So we had a chat, and due to my own stupid actions, he suggested that we should take it down a notch and just be friends... I don’t even like typing those words...because they make me feel a million things all at once and I don’t think that’s a good thing. I keep asking myself impossible/stupid questions about the whole thing because I literally can’t just get everything out. It’s almost like I have so many things running through my head, and there all trying to come out at the same time, but by doing so, they all clash and can’t fit through that stupid exit that is my mind arrh.
I have never in my life been one to hold back, if I feel something I say it, if I have an opinion I will tell u, but for some reason all this has sorta taken hold of me, I am holding back, I am putting so much thought into the way I behave because I’m scared I will ultimately push HIM further away. I feel like I'm caged. It’s funny to actually think that my thoughts are calculated now....problem is..iv never been good at maths lol so I’m sure this is going to fuck me up somehow
I can’t make up my mind weather to be angry, sad, confused, disappointed, stupid or naive, maybe it’s a mixture of all of them, I don’t know, but for some reason I feel horrible about it
My mood has defiantly gotten better since we actually talked, but I dunno.. It just won’t seem to go away
I think a big part of it is not knowing the extent to which he feels about the whole situation, I’m in the dark about how much this is affecting him, and for some reason i think he’s getting on fine, I actually don’t think he’s thinking about this as much as i am, which makes me feel like a huge drama queen.
it feels weird not calling him or texting him or finding out what he’s doing and i want to so bad and i sit and wounder, does he actually feel the urge to contact me in that way, does he miss wanting to see me as much as i do him, does he go to bed thinking "hmm maybe ill just drop him a line" or "i wounder if he’s on skype", this is what i mean but not knowing how he’s thinking about the whole thing, about how its affecting him.
another big part of this whole thing, it how quickly it happened, literally over night, my thoughts can’t quite grasp the transition and its driving me nuts, I think this is the aspect of the whole thing that confuses me the most, the logical side of me develops theories as to why it could have happed so quick, maybe someone told him otherwise, maybe he thinks someone else from the past could offer him more, I don’t know and its driving me crazy.
my opinion of the guy will never change and there is no doubt in my mind that we will always be close friends, i will always think that he is amazing, adorable and mildly funny lol, the amount of care i have for him is indescribable, if the concept of caring and interest came in the form of money i would be loaded, i could retire today, quite uni and live happily ever after.
i think i showed a lot of emotion to him, and i didn’t want that, i don’t want to look weak or vulnerable - i don’t know why, i just don’t
there is however a silver lining, because we have decided to "break" or "cool it down", we have organised to meet after my uni exams (which I’m in the middle of) and see how things go. But until then I'm still going to be thinking about him, I guess I just can’t show it as much.
ok enough drama-queen -stupid-thoughts behaviour for one night lol
Peace
One of the biggest things that have been on my mind a WHOLE lot lately is the one and only Kyle. So we had a chat, and due to my own stupid actions, he suggested that we should take it down a notch and just be friends... I don’t even like typing those words...because they make me feel a million things all at once and I don’t think that’s a good thing. I keep asking myself impossible/stupid questions about the whole thing because I literally can’t just get everything out. It’s almost like I have so many things running through my head, and there all trying to come out at the same time, but by doing so, they all clash and can’t fit through that stupid exit that is my mind arrh.
I have never in my life been one to hold back, if I feel something I say it, if I have an opinion I will tell u, but for some reason all this has sorta taken hold of me, I am holding back, I am putting so much thought into the way I behave because I’m scared I will ultimately push HIM further away. I feel like I'm caged. It’s funny to actually think that my thoughts are calculated now....problem is..iv never been good at maths lol so I’m sure this is going to fuck me up somehow
I can’t make up my mind weather to be angry, sad, confused, disappointed, stupid or naive, maybe it’s a mixture of all of them, I don’t know, but for some reason I feel horrible about it
My mood has defiantly gotten better since we actually talked, but I dunno.. It just won’t seem to go away
I think a big part of it is not knowing the extent to which he feels about the whole situation, I’m in the dark about how much this is affecting him, and for some reason i think he’s getting on fine, I actually don’t think he’s thinking about this as much as i am, which makes me feel like a huge drama queen.
it feels weird not calling him or texting him or finding out what he’s doing and i want to so bad and i sit and wounder, does he actually feel the urge to contact me in that way, does he miss wanting to see me as much as i do him, does he go to bed thinking "hmm maybe ill just drop him a line" or "i wounder if he’s on skype", this is what i mean but not knowing how he’s thinking about the whole thing, about how its affecting him.
another big part of this whole thing, it how quickly it happened, literally over night, my thoughts can’t quite grasp the transition and its driving me nuts, I think this is the aspect of the whole thing that confuses me the most, the logical side of me develops theories as to why it could have happed so quick, maybe someone told him otherwise, maybe he thinks someone else from the past could offer him more, I don’t know and its driving me crazy.
my opinion of the guy will never change and there is no doubt in my mind that we will always be close friends, i will always think that he is amazing, adorable and mildly funny lol, the amount of care i have for him is indescribable, if the concept of caring and interest came in the form of money i would be loaded, i could retire today, quite uni and live happily ever after.
i think i showed a lot of emotion to him, and i didn’t want that, i don’t want to look weak or vulnerable - i don’t know why, i just don’t
there is however a silver lining, because we have decided to "break" or "cool it down", we have organised to meet after my uni exams (which I’m in the middle of) and see how things go. But until then I'm still going to be thinking about him, I guess I just can’t show it as much.
ok enough drama-queen -stupid-thoughts behaviour for one night lol
Peace
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Diary of a Cat
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed (again).
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed (again).
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Sunscreen doesn’t taste as good as it looks.
OK
:-D WHOS WITH ME hahah
TOTAL HOTTIE (besides kyle hahaha...p.s totally proposing a 3some with him hahah)
:-D WHOS WITH ME hahah
I Fell of a Trampoline once. It hurt.
First time in like forever that I’m making a post haha - probably make it a quick one cos i have work to do :-)
and nothing really exciting has been going on either lol its mainly been about Kyle lol and his overseas adventures ..That and my fucken retarded exams ARRAH lol so not in the mood for them
Anyway KYLE,
I swear that man gets more amazing every single time I talk to him lol, arah and its gotten to the point where I cant talk about him without getting lost for words (mostly due to the fact that my vocabulary is limited hahaha). The things he says, the things he does.. they just make me feel so good. Even though he’s like a million miles away, i dunno iv just been happier hahaha
THE MAN IS A TOTAL STUD lol ..OK PICTURE THIS
THE BEST BLUE EYES U HAVE EVA SEEN IN UR LIFE... an I’m not even talking about that cheap kind of blue that cheap Asian retailers use of products that last like 4 days after u buy them, GOD I hate that but for some reason u cant help but keep shopping there, that reminds me I have to go find Asian syrup for a detox hahaha gay much lol.. why am I talking about Asian retailers lol... oh yea the blue eyes hahaha, there like this deep electric blue amazing eyes :-D lol, mix that with being buff, white and a goatee and GRRR lol
Its amazing how the smallest things can become so big, take orange juice for example lol
that’s how we met lol I thought orange juice was awesome because it was orange and juicy lol he thought I was a knob and playfully teased me back ahhaha
exams are totally screwed. I start Monday and have like 3 days of solid study, i swear I’m praying to GOD i confident enough to at least pass my subjects (worried a little)
OH news on the outside world, history changing news, U.S.A has its first african-american president...and WOW... i was discussing this with Kyle and i mentioned that to me (being Australian) the whole black factor diddent come into play, to me i seen a man ready to do his job, i look at him and see someone professional, demanding and knowledgeable for his job.. i thought that UNTILL i watched the coverage we had down here on his win... i actually felt really proud that people have woken up to themselves and looked over the colour of someone’s skin.
they compared his win to martin Luther Kings jr speech(i think it was jr ..I’m correct right lol)...it really puts it into context for u.
my sister goes into court tomorrow... cos she’s stubborn and can be a bitch lol she was driving with a suspended licence and decided to no doubt give attitude to the officer that puller her over, she says otherwise but trust me i know her lol
I’m felling like a totally teeny bopper so I’m going to post hot pictures of Zac Effron hahahaha and hopefully lots of randomness hahaha
for the time being I’m out of here
Peace
p.s still smiling :-D
and nothing really exciting has been going on either lol its mainly been about Kyle lol and his overseas adventures ..That and my fucken retarded exams ARRAH lol so not in the mood for them
Anyway KYLE,
I swear that man gets more amazing every single time I talk to him lol, arah and its gotten to the point where I cant talk about him without getting lost for words (mostly due to the fact that my vocabulary is limited hahaha). The things he says, the things he does.. they just make me feel so good. Even though he’s like a million miles away, i dunno iv just been happier hahaha
THE MAN IS A TOTAL STUD lol ..OK PICTURE THIS
THE BEST BLUE EYES U HAVE EVA SEEN IN UR LIFE... an I’m not even talking about that cheap kind of blue that cheap Asian retailers use of products that last like 4 days after u buy them, GOD I hate that but for some reason u cant help but keep shopping there, that reminds me I have to go find Asian syrup for a detox hahaha gay much lol.. why am I talking about Asian retailers lol... oh yea the blue eyes hahaha, there like this deep electric blue amazing eyes :-D lol, mix that with being buff, white and a goatee and GRRR lol
Its amazing how the smallest things can become so big, take orange juice for example lol
that’s how we met lol I thought orange juice was awesome because it was orange and juicy lol he thought I was a knob and playfully teased me back ahhaha
exams are totally screwed. I start Monday and have like 3 days of solid study, i swear I’m praying to GOD i confident enough to at least pass my subjects (worried a little)
OH news on the outside world, history changing news, U.S.A has its first african-american president...and WOW... i was discussing this with Kyle and i mentioned that to me (being Australian) the whole black factor diddent come into play, to me i seen a man ready to do his job, i look at him and see someone professional, demanding and knowledgeable for his job.. i thought that UNTILL i watched the coverage we had down here on his win... i actually felt really proud that people have woken up to themselves and looked over the colour of someone’s skin.
they compared his win to martin Luther Kings jr speech(i think it was jr ..I’m correct right lol)...it really puts it into context for u.
my sister goes into court tomorrow... cos she’s stubborn and can be a bitch lol she was driving with a suspended licence and decided to no doubt give attitude to the officer that puller her over, she says otherwise but trust me i know her lol
I’m felling like a totally teeny bopper so I’m going to post hot pictures of Zac Effron hahahaha and hopefully lots of randomness hahaha
for the time being I’m out of here
Peace
p.s still smiling :-D
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