Look at the Gay Boy!

So on Monday and Tuesday, for some odd reason, my new "boss" decided to apply a whole lot of trust and responsibility to myself.

That’s right kids...I was asked to babysit a sick child. My previous post mentioned that I’m sick. Making the connection yet? That little shit!

So the brief included: be there at 8:30am (fuck) and u stay till 6am, you have to cook dinner (fuck) and watch him the whole time (double fuck)

I mean let’s face it, I’m not responsible enough to cater for someone else's life, I can handle my own brothers and sister, but that’s only because they fear me...I mean respect me...*awkward*

Anyway so day 1 - I get there 30 mins late which means that the other kid (who I had to take care of later) is late for school and his father is freaking out. I walk through the door like everything is ok. meh haha

Anyway so I make my way over to the kid, he is sitting in the lounge room with his eyes locked onto the TV. Just to make my life easier, let’s call him Darren. So little Darren is sitting in the lounge room, I walk in and for that split second we lock eyes. It was almost like he was trying to tell me "this shit is on" - in those exact words. Turns out it wasn’t that bad.

So I make my way over to the couch and sit next to him and watch TV in silence. he begins to talk to me (this kid seemed absolutely fine btw - he has obviously worked out how to lie to his parents about being sick) and he says "do u know what I’m watching" I reply bluntly (I was tired, deal with it) "no" to which he replied "it’s a show about people who ride horses, my brother and me watch it all the time" so I reply "that’s incredibly cool" he continues "yea, my brother watches it because of all the girls on the horses because he has like...3 girlfriends...but I like it because of all the boys on the horses"

It is at this point that my brain wakes up and I become extremely interested in this kid. I’m thinking "omg...this kid could be gay" anyway so I begin to make actual conversation to explore this notion further. "So..Darren..why don’t you have a girlfriend" (F.Y.I this kid is like 7 years old) he responded with, and I shit you not, "I don’t want to have a girlfriend, when I grow up I’m going to marry my brother"

DING DING DING ladies and gentlemen we have a winner.

So we turn to watch the TV again, and I’m texting on my phone for some form of social activity. the kid begins to get closer and is talking to me, I can’t tell you what he was saying because I wasn’t listening, I was screaming in my head "OMG OMG OMG HES BREATHING ON ME - IM GOING TO GET SICK"

So while he is talking I’m texting my friend to research his illness to tell me how contagious it is. She was sleeping. I was freaking out.

Flash forward 2 days later. the kid didn’t move from the couch because I told him that he must "rest" despite him not actually being sick, I now know everything about "Ben 10", we have a new member batting for our team, I’m a lot richer and have caught the spawns disease.